2015 Xmas 2016 Missive 2017

Folks,

Another year passes. I am still waiting for my silver suit, bubble car and jetpack.^{(note 7)}

My Take On This Year's News Warning: this is not very Christmassy...

I thought I'd document the year by the means of Contemporary Dance Songs Of A Popular Nature, to cheer me up. Judge for yourselves if this worked... For a mild attempt at providing some entertainment for Xmas: name the band/songs (without the help of evil ^{(note 1)} Google, which is cheating). I did not nick this idea off evil^{(note 1)} Facebook/Social Media, honest!

• UK: All the clubs have been closed down^{(note 2)}
• Europe: You're so self satisfied I don't need you^{(note 3)}
• Across The Pond: Nellie the Elephant packed her trunk, and trundled back to the jungle. Off she went ... oh, you know the rest!
• International: They're watching every move we make; We're all included on the list^{(note 4)}
• Famous people: ... enough already ... let's move on.

Family Highlights

• Ellie: I've written my own song which goes thus: "A star, a star; a star a star a star. A star, a star; a-a star a star a star - A star!". Ahem^{(note 5)}
• Josh: Turned 15. He is not at all like this:
• Barbara: Barbara Barbara we face a shining future. I agree! xxx
• Andy: Showers of horn playing, with outbreaks of light grumpiness about things, and occasional bursts of pride.

Exciting Holidays in Various Groupings

• Ellie and Barbara went to Barcelona for post-exam chilling.
• Josh did lots of climbing and stuff in Wales
• I chilled out in the foothills of the Pyrenees with my mum
• We all went to Gozo - kids enjoyed a nice pool, we relaxed, and enjoyed local cuisine.
• Dartmoor - some nice hikes

Exciting Events

• My brother Peter married Louise, and had a family party. Ellie moved the Equator to Sheffield so my Dad could demonstrate this effect.
• There were some GCSEs, apparently...
• Helped my friends celebrate their old age with due solemnity

Gigs I/We Went To

• ELO at the O2. Zimmer frames were not mandatory
• Jean Michel Jarre at the O2 - featuring LASER HARP. OMG, How cool are we!
• "X". This play was very weird indeed. Fab!
• Book of Mormon. Fun for all the family - I heartily recommend taking Small Children and Grandma to this^{(note 9)}.
• Steve Reich at the Barbican. Lots of hipsters in the audience whooped when he went on stage. I clapped politely of course.
• I attended a Chritmas Charity gig hosted by Jim Naughtie, with a reading by Lulu (who wore sunglasses in the dimly lit church - yeah baby!) Hob-nobbing-tastic.

• We all liked Boaty McBoatface. Now you can "build your own" with my own special web page. Try recursion!
• This is silly. Stop it.
• BONUS GAME!

The End

That's all folks!

🎅 Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🎄

Andy, Barbara, Ellie & Josh

• ^{1. If you don't believe this, I refer you to Cyberdyne Systems, Persona Synthetics, Klaatu, Benderama, Nosedive, The Rise Of The Robots, etc. etc.}
• ^{2. What's happened to London's nightlife?}
• ^{3. NO I DO NOT!}
• ^{4. I'm slight scared about the accuracy of the lyrics of this song.}
• ^{5. !! Annoying boastful parent alert !!}
• ^{6. We're all doomed}
• ^{7. 50's sci-fi illustrations show a clear prediction of Global Warming - don't you think...?}
• ^{9. IMPORTANT: This message is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential, privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humour or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this message is not authorised (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its correct context somewhere other than in this warning, it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may be ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this message, although the yorkshire terrier next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from Microsoft: However, by pouring a complete circle of salt around yourself and your computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and your pets. If you have received this message in error, please add some nutmeg and egg whites and place it in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Whisk briefly and let it stand for 2 hours before icing.}