From: Andy Kilpatrick
Sent: 15 December 2017 09:26
To: Andy Kilpatrick
Subject: Xmas 2017 Missive
Dear ladies and gentlemen[see note 1],
Calm down - I know, it.s so exciting. Here is my round robin for Christmas 2017!
Yep, it.s that good. Another year of excitement, challenge, growth, open dialog, and such like. And according to my Company.s Company Values (?) there should also be no politics. If only. Here are the highlights!
Assist the Aged:
- I turned 50!
- A nice lady at orchestra said she thought I was 40. It.s my sophisticated wit and charm that gets .em.
- I got a half decent bike, ran a 10K, and appear to have shelled out to do a Triathlon next spring. I.m feeling completely at ease with middle age.
- Josh turned 16!
- GCSEs smashed, with an amusing smorgasbord of results, including various letters, numbers, stars, and even a hat (yes, really). He demonstrated an admirable ability to ace all his favourite subjects, and indicate his slight disdain for others. Hmm, where does he get that from?
- He's now in lower sixth, doing proper subjects, and German. He has to wear a suit to school! He sometimes brushes his hair!
- Ellie recently turned 18!
- We celebrated by going to a fancy restaurant so expensive even my eyes watered for a few minutes until the only-slightly-massively-overpriced prosecco hit home.
- University applications in; some offers; more to come (we hope). Apparently French and History is A Thing.
- Andy & Barbara celebrated 20 years of marriage!
- Barbara still looks a fab 40ish, schwing.
- And she looked after all of the above events with considerable aplomb, and nice frocks.
- We went to a spa, and got massaged by some nice young ladies.
- <question from the audience> No, I don.t know why she does, either.
Political Piece
- It is well known that this country is run by highly educated and dedicated people. Unfortunately, their current trip to a brewery is being hampered by an inability to decide who should open the door, or where the door is, or whether breweries should have doors. Ho ho.
- I've very subtly hidden some other political comments below . see if you can spot them.
Fun and Frolics
- Movies:
- Dunkirk is really good, and loud
- Blade Runner 2049 is really good, and loud
- I really want to see Interstellar again in IMAX. See above.
- We also like quiet sophisticated films, with deep and subtle character development and so on. Honest.
- Ellie went to Reading Festival.
- Apparently it is easy to spot the drug dealers, as everyone chants their names out loudly all night next to your tent.
- Eminem vs Bill Bailey . you decide.
- Josh climbed things in Wales
- Kids went to Europe, and some French/German exchange students came here. Because we are Europeans.
- I took Josh to Rome to celebrate finishing his GCSEs. Or I would have. If we.d renewed his passport. Cornwall is nice too!
Holiday Hubris
- We cycled along the Danube from Passau to Vienna. OK, it.s pretty flat I suppose. But there were some lederhosen.
- Barbara and Ellie went to see Beauty in the Beast. In German. Me & Josh had a McDonalds. Nice.
- Austria is nice. And it is in Europe.
Mostly Music
- There was lots of this.
- Despite the philistine peasants that run this country . OK I.ll shut up now .
- We went to hear Beethoven 6 played from memory at the RFH. In the dark. With lights on the ends of their bows. And origami. There.s fancy.
- I was first in the audience to get my paper bird onto the stage. Nerd Attack!
- I attended my brother Michael.s top notch Duke Ellington concert in Cambridge, only slightly marred by a Finger Incident.
- Plenty of singing (Barbara) flute/oboe (Ellie) piano-thumping-sounds[note 2] (Josh) and horn (Andy).
General Gossip
- I've acquired a telescope. Clouds appear to look the same when magnified.
Summary
- 28 years in one job: I have to use bullets for everything I write now.
- Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
Love,
Andy, Barbara, Ellie & Josh
- 1. And folks of all other modes of identification, in the modern style.
- 2. With headphones on. It would probably sound good if we actually got to hear it.