From: Andy Kilpatrick
Sent: 17 December 2021
To: Andy's Friends
Subject: Andy's Amazing Advent Announcement 2021
Hi people! Yes, it's that time again...
Warning: Due to a world shortage of Amusing Themes, brought on by Brexit / Covid / Global Warming / Pick-Your-Favourite-Worryingly-Bad-Thing, I thought I’d try a-liking a little alliteration: no rumour of a lacuna of humour here ... a plethora of apologies…
STOP PRESS: see also my interactive Cheerful Christmas Covid Counter
Fun Family Facts
- Ellie ended her escapades in France – in Lyon (uni), near Toulouse (au pairing), and around about (touristing). France was clearly better than being in the “U”K. She’s now in her final year at Durham, hoping to return to the EU(1) after her degree.
- Josh generally jollied along; largely at home though with a short “let’s all catch covid while not attending lectures” break at Southampton (see also Ranting, below), but has now returned to uni for his final year.
- Barbara’s bought a bodacious electric car. Just waiting for some chips to be delivered so they can build it…
Trivial Travel Tidings
- Norfolk: nice. Norwich Castle: not.
- Sophisticated summer celebration: went for a nice Covid Safe Tea In A Pod In The Garden Of A Posh Hotel. Ah, summer...
- Leisurely land-loping to Lyon to pick up Ellie and all her junk (stuff, she says). Had a very nice trip, particularly enjoying L’Avenue de Champagne(2).
- Aix-les-Bains exciting expedition: I finally managed to stand up on a paddleboard, after drinking quite a bit of lake, and getting told off for entering a shipping lane.
- Titillating Tesla Trip - as a sort-of-anniversary thingy, I hired a Tesla and drove us (sometimes not at a low speed) past all the empty / queue-ridden petrol stations to Exmoor for some hiking / chilling. Aforementioned Tesla was very shiny and fast. Hmm…
- We went to a wonderful wedding! In Amsterdam!! It was fab(3) !!!
- Hearty Hill Hiking: In November we spent a week in exciting mountainy bits near Alicante. Nice gorges and food; and occasional views of the thankfully-distant Benidorm.
Hardly Hilarious Health Heuristics (4).
- We’ve all been jabbed a lot; with some bonus viral infestations to boost the family immunity-o-meter.
- The NHS App will one day get round to recognizing Ellie’s French jabs. By which point she’ll probably be back in France. Who probably won’t recognize UK QR, etc. etc.
Musical Missive
- We’re returning to horn playing / singing, with a wave of concerts just gone past. After a year of doing nothing but watching TV this seems quite exhausting.
- Barbara sang in the UK Premier of James MacMillan’s Christmas Overture in the Festival Hall, which was (to quote from popular culture) Amazeballs.
- I got to play Sibelius, Hindemith and Janacek, which made me very happy.
Worky McWork Work
- This year Barbara became a Vice President of Many Important Things. Scary. I’d better up my game(5).
- I’m fully on the Microsoft payroll; and (so?) as of August I’m “20% retired”, having switched to 4 day working. Keep buying for those MS Office subscriptions, folks…
- I’m still working on empowering things in the cloud. Everyone must be feeling so empowered now.
- I’ve been NWFH since May, enjoying our new shiny office in Enfield. Sadly, it’s pretty much decoration free, so I’ve created my own little Winter Wonderland area. Nice.
- Microsoft have also been providing me with all sorts of exciting Diversity Training, so now I’m even more of a woke / PC sort of chap than before(6)
- I’ve learnt about “covering”. Seems to me I need to do more of it.
- I’ve switched to referring to Barbara as “my missus” online, replacing my previously favoured the “her indoors” moniker. Though in the New WFH Normal, I’m wondering if perhaps I should revert this…
Reasonably Restrained Ranting:
- Universities: 9 grand for some YouTube videos?! The Soma(7) must be working: why aren’t more students throwing things at things?
- Blah blah blah?
- Xmas party, anyone?
OK - that's me done. I hope everyone is well, and wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Love,
Andy
Famously Funny Footnotes
- (1) c.f. “Ranting” from previous years
- (2) Champagne socialist, moi?
- (3) Except for the un-checked expensive / time-consuming Covid tests… which clearly stopped Covid spreading … oh … wait …
- (4) Enough with the aliteration attempts. I should clearly not aim be a poet, or literary figure of any kind. Damn you, Richard Osman.
- (5) What do you mean, “too late”?
- (6) Why are you rolling your eyes, Ellie?
- (7) Tis new to thee