To: Andy Kilpatrick

Subject: Kilpatrick Family eCircular

Hi everyone.

Since it's been a pretty hectic year, resulting in (achieved communications / target communications) < 0.1, I thought I'd send round an exciting Family Pre-Christmas Missive. In these times of austerity, pictures are omitted.

Schools (aka Evil Society Stresses Out Parents To Pander To Daily Mail Readers)

Ellie: Having subjected her to an intensive battery of grammar-school tests last autumn, she cheered up her lefty dad by getting into a nice local comprehensive (well, "Academy" apparently). Though admittedly she got in by "showing an aptitude for music" - see Super Achievements below :-) She's settled in very well at Ashmole, has just turned 12, and is now all tall and grown-up-ish.

Josh: After not entirely enjoying being Youngest In Year 5, he is getting on better in Year 6 and should be following Ellie next year. We are really looking forward to trying to get him to do daily homework (in less than 4 hours).

New Family Member Izzy!

Don't panic, she's a Cairn Terrier. But not so well trained.

Super Achievements / Boasting

Ellie: got a merit in Grade 5 flute in spring (one term after Grade 4); just done Grade 4 piano; Grade 2 ballet - so she can do a pas-de-bras. Or something like that.
Josh: just done Grade 3 piano; Grade 3 violin coming up; blue-and-black judo belt; now cycling happily after recovery from previous Bicycle-Human Co-Location Incident

"Work"

Me: successfully delivered an exciting new product from System Test into the field, and we're all going to be rich. Maybe.
Me: loving the continuing increase in Corporate Branding, as exemplified by http://www.metaswitch.com/resources/most-recent-videos. Cute pony?
Barbara: successfully doing jobs of several people who have moved on; being mergerized; considering whether or not to price herself out of her job; being Super Mum.

Staycationing / Jet-Setting

Went to Northumberland and saw castles, a wall, beaches, etc.
Went to Corfu and did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING (except pranging hire car). Got back to exciting Enfield Riots. Cue music.
Went to New York. We can particular recommend the Not-At-All-Embarrassing-VIP-treatment "Express Tickets" for the Empire State; and Food generally. And Shops.
Which was nice.

House

Actually made it outside (in summer) and enjoyed our shiny new garden.
Got Solar Panels just before Comedy Coalition halved Feed-In-Tariffs in order to meet Kyoto targets. Hoorah. Generated 3 kWh yesterday; enough to boil the television.

Capitalism in Crisis

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,

And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry."
Mind you, if the economy falls back to the pitiful levels of the 1990s (or '80s, gulp - the hair, the hair...), I don't know how we'll survive. Did we have shoes and suchlike back then?
Now that the UK is leaving the EU, we should form a fiscal union with our Commonwealth buddies, creating a new global currency - which I dub the "Anglo" (narrowly ahead of the "Empire Pound"). [Ozzie friends: no whinging please.]

Fun for All

Why are pirates called pirates? They just are. (You have to say it right - see http://www.talklikeapirate.com/faq.html)
Who is 89*17*7*3?

Happy Xmas + New Year to all,

Andy, Barbara, Ellie & Josh

2010 Xmas 2011 Missive 2012